Guest Post by Ruth Kaiser a.k.a The Smiley Lady

Love is a Verb 

By Ruth Kaiser
a.k.a. The Smiley Lady of www.SpontaneousSmiley.com

Beatles Smileys

It’s easy to recognize that love is a feeling, a really, really good feeling. Poets write rhymes, musicians sing songs and we all can recall the intense surges of emotion that accompany feelings of love.

Clarinet Smiley

Yeah, so that’s easy. We all get that. What a lot of people don’t get is that love is also a verb--a thing you do and with the doing, you give someone else the feeling.

Drum Smiley

When you say, “I love you” it can either mean: I feel [insert song lyric], when we’re together OR it can mean because you make me feel [insert song lyric], I do things to you/for you that are motivated by my desire for you to feel [insert song lyric].

Sourdough Toast Smiley

Love the verb takes work. One chooses to behave in loving ways. I am loving you when I run to the store just to get you fresh sourdough. I am loving you when I don’t interrupt your umpteenth telling of that same old story. I am really loving you when I laugh at that old story. 

Ooops, I Forgot to Wrap & Refrigerate the Rest of the Smiley Onion

But, yep. I'm Still Lovable!

I am loving you when I remember a thing that bugs you and then try not to do it. You are loving me when I forget that thing, but you smile instead of being bugged. One of the ways we can best love someone is to accept them as they are 24/7 

Aw, You Drew Me a Bubble Bath Smiley

Loving someone is a job, with a job description. Here’s a cool assignment, write that job description thinking about the people you love. How about if you wrote that job description as if you were seeking someone to love you? I’m not talking personal ad here, rather the things you’d like someone to do to actively love you. This second list, is not one to be kept a secret. Don’t suppose others know what it takes to make you feel loved!!

I'm So Grateful You Always Help Me Find My Smiley Cell Phone, and hardly tease at all.

And when you feel like you might not love someone anymore, ask yourself if you have been doing your job. When you stop doing loving things for the other person, they feel it and respond with less for you. If you tried to once again do the love, you might once again feel the love. Sometimes when they’re most driving you crazy, making yourself do a loving thing for them, reminds you (and them) of how much you feel love for each other.

A Gentle Goodnight Touch by a Smiley Hand

I make it a practice as I first snuggle into bed at night to ask myself, did I act lovingly today? On a good day I can recall lots of little things. Other days what I remember is missed opportunities and I vow to be better. And since it’s never too late, and my lovable husband is right there beside to me, I do something loving. I simply reach out for one last gentle touch.

Did you act lovingly today? Will you tomorrow? It’s a choice.

Smile. Be happy!

Ruth

Ruth Kaiser blogs as the Smiley Lady.  She shares her observations about choosing to view life more optimistically. Ruth is a teacher, author and  mom. The next time you or your child need a giggle break, check out the Smiley Gallery or sing along to “Smile. Be Happy!” or “Do You See What I See? A Smiley! A Smiley!” songs Ruth co-wrote just for kids!  Ruth has taken her message to TED as a speaker. She is also the creator of the popular online art project SpontaneousSmiley.com. Thousand of people find, photograph and share Smiley Faces they find in everyday objects. The Spontaneous Smiley Project is a joyful community of people of all ages from all over the world.
 The project is as much about finding happiness as it is about finding Smiley Faces.

Just Imagine

What do you see in the clouds in the picture?

Just imagine you are lying on the soft green grass on a small hill at the park staring up to the beautiful sky. What do you see?

Well I see a turtle in the clouds above. Do you see it too?

When was the last time you took a few minutes to wonder at the sky and use your imagination? If it has been months or years then you need to change that. Children are great teachers when it comes to using your imagination. They do it every day, several times a day. Can you remember a time when your children weren't using their imaginations? They dream of grand castles, far off lands, fantastic machines, special friends; you name it they can imagine it. And they get so much joy from it.  Take a page from their book. Or take a page from your own book. You were a kids once. Remember when you used to get on your bike and travel to great lands in your neigbhourhood by just peddling? Or sailing off to great lands in your backyard?

Once we grow up we seem to lose that ability to take time to imagine great things. We get stuck in the day to day stuff of our lives; work, bills, cars, dinner, chores.  It is sad we forget to use our imaginations for fun, for good, to help us live a joyful, happy life.  We forget the power of imagination. It can change your mood in an instant. Think about how happy you feel when you imagine a great vacation to some warm sunny beach? When I do that I can feel the sun on my face, the sand between my toes and I feel a lightness of spirit. Ahh, what a great feeling. But why do we save that for those times when we are awaiting a trip? Or a special occasion? Just IMAGINE if we could use that every single day. How happy would you feel every single day?

It doesn't take a lot of time to use your imagination either. If you have just a few minutes every day it can help. I am trying to do this every day. Your imagination can take you a million miles away and make you feel great all at the same time.  It just makes you happy to let your mind imagine all the great things that are out there for you.

And one other great thing about using your imagination? It doesn't cost you a thing! Yup, another one of those great things in life that are FREE. So why waste it.

Wednesday Wednesday - Setting Florida Sun

Be Kind to You!

 “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
― Kathryn Stockett, The Help

 I watched the movie The Help the other night. There was many things that stood out for me but that quote was the biggest. It is all about how we treat ourselves, how we talk to ourselves, how we let that inner voice speak to us.

In the past I have let my inner voice be mean to me. I have allowed it to say negative things to me. Why? I am not sure why I would let it talk to me like that. I don't think I am alone here. I think we often have those inner conversations with ourselves that can be negative. We doubt ourselves and let that inner voice convince us of terrible things, like we aren't pretty enough, we aren't smart enough, we aren't important.  This goes along with my last post, Thoughts Have Power , what we think can change our moods, change how we feel, and even change how we decide to act. Thoughts do have power. That inner voice is all of those thoughts you have about yourself.

We need to love ourselves. If we want to give love to others we first need to love ourselves. If you bucket is full and overflowing then you have lots of love to give to others. That is why that quote struck me. These are just three of many words we should be saying to ourselves every single day.

There is a movement afoot about paying it forward or doing random acts of kindness. Well, how about start with you. Start by being kind to yourself. Do something good for you today and then you will be in the right frame of mind to give to others.

It have made the conscious decision to talk kindly to myself. To love everything I am. There is only one of me. I am unique, as are you! Only you can do what you do. You are kind, you are smart and you are important!

Thoughts Have Power

Our minds are powerful things.

Think about it....let's just talk about a common scenario.

You wake up in the morning. The phone rings and your boss asks you to come in a few minutes early to talk to him in his office but doesn't say why. He only says that you will talk more about when you get there. So now what? Well, your mind starts to race. You are starting to think about all the scenarios. You think about all the things it could be and then you start thinking it is something bad. Maybe you are getting laid off? Maybe you are getting fired? Or maybe they are upset with something you are doing? What could it be? The more you think, the more your stomach starts to churn and the worse you feel. You start to get a pit in your stomach. And it is all because your mind started to think about all the terrible things that could happen. By the time you get to work you are just sick, you have a headache and all you want to do is go back to bed. You walk into you bosses office, sit down, and mentally prepare yourself for the bad news BUT then your boss says they just wanted to tell you how happy they are with your work, they are looking to give you a more important role in the office. Not at all what you thought.

Ah the power of our thoughts. All that thinking and you made yourself sick with worry. Our thoughts do have power. We let them have power over us. Just think how different that scenario would have been if what you thought about was positive rather than negative. What if you had thought about getting a raise, imagine how good that would have made you feel.

I am guilty as anyone. I have been known to be a bit of a worrier. In the last year or so I have been working on that, especially in the last six months. I now understand my thoughts are directly linked to how I feel. Negative thoughts can make me feel bad and who wants to live a life feeling bad all the time. When I think positively I feel energized to do good things, I am inspired and creativity flows. I have often listened to the little voice in my head. You know the voice? The voice that speaks to you, the voice that says you can't do something, you aren't smart enough, you aren't talented enough. Do you have a little voice like that? Well, don't listen to it. Replace it with the voice that tells you you can do anything, you are special because let's face it there is only one YOU! You are unique. Every single one of us has something to give to the world, something that is uniquely you.

So positive thoughts have power, just like negative ones do. What would you rather listen to? I prefer to listen to the positive thoughts. The negative ones have never done anything good for me. I want to live a prosperous life, one of happiness, love and success!

Oh ya, and the best part of all these positive thoughts? Our thoughts are FREE.... so use them the best way you can!

Wordless Wednesday - Winter Wonderland

Attitude of Gratitude

We all want to lead happier and healthier lives. Don't we? OK, I am going to speak for you here and say yes, I think we all want that for ourselves and everyone else that we love. But we often look outside ourselves, seeking things to make us happy. We see what other people have and want those things, we want bigger houses, fancier cars and nicer clothes. You have heard that saying "The grass is always greener on the other side" but you know that isn't always true. Scratch that. It is never true. You have a fantastic life. You do! Maybe you can't see it because you are too busy looking over the fence. I know because I have done the exact same thing. We all have I think but you know there are some easy things you can do to see the beauty in your life right now and in turn you will bring more happiness and blessings into your life. It is all about your attitude. You need to have an attitude of gratitude. Be grateful for what you have and you will start to see more of the same appearing in you life.

Here are a few tips to help you be grateful for the blessings in your life.

1. Journal
 Writing helps you see the good things in your life. Try writing down a few things you are grateful for every week. Start keeping a journal. Once you feel comfortable doing that step it up to every day. This will help you get focused on all the great things in your life. Remember they don't have to be things. Sometimes the best things in our are lives are small, like a great sandwich for lunch, or no traffic on your drive to work, or great hair! Or they could be big things like great kids who are healthy, a loving family,  and supportive friends. Just write down and it won't take you long to see how bless your life really is.

2. Post it!
This is an extension of writing a journal. You can write your self little notes. Write down what you are grateful for on a post it note and put is on your computer, or you desk or even the bathroom mirror. Change it every day or even just every week. It will be a visual reminder of all the greatness in your life!

3. Be Thankful
I started doing this with my kids. Several times a week, usually after school in the car, we all say one thing we are grateful for that day. It helps to get them thinking about all the good things in their lives (me too) and saying it helps us all to acknowledge our blessings. We all have things that are good in our lives.

4. Touch Something
Use an object to help you remember what is truly great in your life. A long time ago, when my husband and I were dating, we used to go for walks down by the lake. On one of those walks we stopped to toss stones into the water and I kept one of those stones. I still have it. I see it every day and even touch it and I remember those days. It reminds me of what is great in my life, like my husband and children. Use and object to help you connect with happy memories or thoughts.

5. Tell Someone
We all have someone in our lives that we are grateful for, someone we couldn't live without. Well, tell them.