Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Guest Post by Ruth Kaiser a.k.a The Smiley Lady

Love is a Verb 
By Ruth Kaiser
a.k.a. The Smiley Lady of

Beatles Smileys
It’s easy to recognize that love is a feeling, a really, really good feeling. Poets write rhymes, musicians sing songs and we all can recall the intense surges of emotion that accompany feelings of love.

Clarinet Smiley
Yeah, so that’s easy. We all get that. What a lot of people don’t get is that love is also a verb--a thing you do and with the doing, you give someone else the feeling.

Drum Smiley
When you say, “I love you” it can either mean: I feel [insert song lyric], when we’re together OR it can mean because you make me feel [insert song lyric], I do things to you/for you that are motivated by my desire for you to feel [insert song lyric].

Sourdough Toast Smiley
Love the verb takes work. One chooses to behave in loving ways. I am loving you when I run to the store just to get you fresh sourdough. I am loving you when I don’t interrupt your umpteenth telling of that same old story. I am really loving you when I laugh at that old story. 

Ooops, I Forgot to Wrap & Refrigerate the Rest of the Smiley Onion
But, yep. I'm Still Lovable!
I am loving you when I remember a thing that bugs you and then try not to do it. You are loving me when I forget that thing, but you smile instead of being bugged. One of the ways we can best love someone is to accept them as they are 24/7 

Aw, You Drew Me a Bubble Bath Smiley
Loving someone is a job, with a job description. Here’s a cool assignment, write that job description thinking about the people you love. How about if you wrote that job description as if you were seeking someone to love you? I’m not talking personal ad here, rather the things you’d like someone to do to actively love you. This second list, is not one to be kept a secret. Don’t suppose others know what it takes to make you feel loved!!

I'm So Grateful You Always Help Me Find My Smiley Cell Phone, and hardly tease at all.
And when you feel like you might not love someone anymore, ask yourself if you have been doing your job. When you stop doing loving things for the other person, they feel it and respond with less for you. If you tried to once again do the love, you might once again feel the love. Sometimes when they’re most driving you crazy, making yourself do a loving thing for them, reminds you (and them) of how much you feel love for each other.

A Gentle Goodnight Touch by a Smiley Hand
I make it a practice as I first snuggle into bed at night to ask myself, did I act lovingly today? On a good day I can recall lots of little things. Other days what I remember is missed opportunities and I vow to be better. And since it’s never too late, and my lovable husband is right there beside to me, I do something loving. I simply reach out for one last gentle touch.
Did you act lovingly today? Will you tomorrow? It’s a choice.
Smile. Be happy!

Ruth Kaiser blogs as the Smiley Lady.  She shares her observations about choosing to view life more optimistically. Ruth is a teacher, author and  mom. The next time you or your child need a giggle break, check out the Smiley Gallery or sing along to “Smile. Be Happy!” or “Do You See What I See? A Smiley! A Smiley!” songs Ruth co-wrote just for kids!  Ruth has taken her message to TED as a speaker. She is also the creator of the popular online art project Thousand of people find, photograph and share Smiley Faces they find in everyday objects. The Spontaneous Smiley Project is a joyful community of people of all ages from all over the world.
 The project is as much about finding happiness as it is about finding Smiley Faces.