Ok, so I have been wanting to write this post for a while. This is a topic that my friend Laurel Crossley-Byers or better known as @Optimom talk about all the time. Why is Mom always last on the list? Everyone else seems to get taken care of first.
I am as guilty of this as any mother out there. It is work for me to even think about myself. For example, when I go out shopping for something for myself I end up leaving the mall with 2 things for my girls and nothing for me. I am working to change that. I just turned 39 this year. I am planning for this to be a big year for me, before I turn 40. I want to make some serious changes in my job/career, I want to be slimmer and healthier this year, and I want to start taking better care of myself in mind, body and spirit. It is going to be hard. I think ultimately Moms have to give themselves permission to just be a little selfish ( selfish in a good way...I know it's hard to think of it that way).
Most days I run on empty. And I mean serious empty, fumes really. I work until midnight and don't get home until 1 a.m. Sadly I don't get to bed most nights (mornings) until 2 or 3 a.m. Since my husband does dinner and bedtime duty, I do morning duty so that means getting up in the morning to get the girls ready for school and then take them to school. So ultimately I only get about 4 or 5 hours sleep a night. During the day I work toward getting and keeping the house clean, doing laundry, cook when I can, and do some yard work ( more of that in the summer months). I also write freelance for a few magazines, I write on this blog, I read for pleasure and for work and I occasionally do some other freelance writing when I can. So, as you can see there isn't much time left for myself or my relationship with my husband. We both work crazy hours.
Yesterday I did two things for myself. One was great. I regularly get my nails done. It is something I like to do for myself although I am not the best at keeping it up but yesterday was an hour by myself, getting my nails done by someone who has become a great friend over the years. The second thing I did for myself wasn't as fun but more necessary and more important to improving myself. I got a PAP TEST. Yes I said it. It is something no woman likes to get done but is essential I believe to a woman's health. Sadly it is something that I have neglected to do for about 4 years. And yes I said that too. 4 years! Once I had both my girls I just got carried away with taking care of them and working. Life took over and I forgot to take care of myself. I put on weight, I worked myself nearly into the ground. Not that I am really complaining about the work. I love to write and I am blessed to have a job in my chosen profession but I think I need to find balance. Yes the "B" word.
So I hope to keep you all update on my progress and how I am working toward taking better care of myself and hopefully moving up on that list ( especially with the help, tips and advice from my great friend @optimom
Do you struggle with putting yourself first? What do you do just for yourself? Would love to read your comments.
I struggle with this as well. I'm sure lots of moms struggle with this.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I did to help put myself first is get an Opti-mom membership. This gets me out of the house to have a good time with a great bunch of women.
And today I'm on a hunt for a new pair of shoes. I've had this pair for a while and now there is a hole in them. So I'm getting new shoes!
I've been buying jewelry! Stella & Dot, Silpada, Ga-Hoole. I'm tired of being the "saver" always worried about bills being paid off on time! So,the boys got their Olympic hockey jerseys..what do I get? Jewels!
ReplyDeleteI know so many women who don't put themselves first and lose themselves. They often end up sitting in my therapy chair working on regaining their self love, esteem and power.
ReplyDeleteI was fortunate enough to have a mom who always made time for herself. As a role model she instilled that belief and behave in me. And I am grateful.
Great post.