Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Why is Mom Always Last?

Ok, so I have been wanting to write this post for a while. This is a topic that my friend Laurel Crossley-Byers or better known as @Optimom talk about all the time. Why is Mom always last on the list? Everyone else seems to get taken care of first.

I am as guilty of this as any mother out there. It is work for me to even think about myself. For example, when I go out shopping for something for myself I end up leaving the mall with 2 things for my girls and nothing for me. I am working to change that. I just turned 39 this year. I am planning for this to be a big year for me, before I turn 40.  I want to make some serious changes in my job/career, I want to be slimmer and healthier this year, and I want to start taking better care of myself in mind, body and spirit. It is going to be hard. I think ultimately Moms have to give themselves permission to just be a little selfish ( selfish in a good way...I know it's hard to think of it that way).

Most days I run on empty. And I mean serious empty, fumes really. I work until midnight and don't get home until 1 a.m. Sadly I don't get to bed most nights (mornings) until 2 or 3 a.m. Since my husband does dinner and bedtime duty, I do morning duty so that means getting up in the morning to get the girls ready for school and then take them to school. So ultimately I only get about 4 or 5 hours sleep a night. During the day I work toward getting and keeping the house clean, doing laundry, cook when I can, and do some yard work ( more of that in the summer months). I also write freelance for a few magazines, I write on this blog, I read for pleasure and for work and I occasionally do some other freelance writing when I can. So, as you can see there isn't much time left for myself or my relationship with my husband. We both work crazy hours.

Yesterday I did two things for myself. One was great. I regularly get my nails done. It is something I like to do for myself although I am not the best at keeping it up but yesterday was an hour by myself, getting my nails done by someone who has become a great friend over the years. The second thing I did for myself wasn't as fun but more necessary and more important to improving myself. I got a PAP TEST. Yes I said it. It is something no woman likes to get done but is essential I believe to a woman's health. Sadly it is something that I have neglected to do for about 4 years. And yes I said that too. 4 years! Once I had both my girls I just got carried away with taking care of them and working. Life took over and I forgot to take care of myself. I put on weight, I worked myself nearly into the ground. Not that I am really complaining about the work. I love to write and I am blessed to have a job in my chosen profession but I think I need to find balance. Yes the "B" word.

So I hope to keep you all update on my progress and how I am working toward taking better care of myself and hopefully moving up on that list ( especially with the help, tips and advice from my great friend @optimom

Do you struggle with putting yourself first? What do you do just for yourself? Would love to read your comments.